Lost And Alone

I stood by the bed, not yet ready to climb in, knowing it was the first night I would sleep alone for the rest of my life.

No Ben to snuggle up to in the early hours, to be held in his arms when I shivered with cold, to feel his kisses when he woke me in the mornings.

A shudder traveled through my body as I pulled back the covers, sliding under them. The coldness of the sheets matched the coldness I felt inside. I felt I was lost in an abyss; the thought I had lost the love of my life was too great to comprehend.

I turned over; muffling my sobs in the pillow, knowing that sleep would elude me, not just tonight but for nights to come. I knew when it did finally overtake me my dreams would be filled of Ben. I just hoped they would be dreams of our life and love and not of that final moment when he slipped away, leaving me struggling to understand why he was taken from me so soon.

We had ten years together, each lived to the fullest, but it wasn’t enough, it would never be enough.