When Hunter walked out the door I thought we had lost him forever. Nothing Ben or I could say would change his mind and in the end I took some money from my wallet and handed it to him. The look he gave me as he took it made me want to grab hold of him and lock him in his room. But I didn’t. I watched him walk out the door.

For weeks after that night every time the phone rang or there was a knock at the door my heart jumped thinking it was him, coming back home, to where he belonged. But it never was.

Ben took Hunter’s leaving badly. He closed himself off from me, refusing to talk about his feelings until he discovered I had given Hunter’s bed to Justin. I probably should have talked to him about it first, I know that now, but at the time Justin needed it more than Hunter. As I told Ben, we could buy a Hunter a new one when he came home. But Ben wouldn’t listen; he thought I had given up on Hunter and that hurt. I just dealt with it differently than Ben, losing myself in the store and eventually getting involved in the Stop Prop 14 campaign. I tried to get Ben interested but he lost his temper with me again and I gave up. We hardly spoke during the day and the nights were even worse. Nothing I could do or say would make Ben see that no matter what, Hunter was determined to leave. He had made up his mind, and he was as stubborn as Ben in that way. So we continued to tip-toe around each other until I received that email. Sent from an internet café, with no return address, but it didn’t matter. He was alright and more than anything else, he had signed it <i> love </i>.

That night in bed Ben and I had talked properly for the first time since Hunter had left and when I fell asleep wrapped in his body I knew things were going to be okay. I also knew, and I didn’t know why then, that Hunter would come home and we would be a family again.