I’ve had a few successes in my life. Buying the Comic Book store comes to mind as well as producing sperm for Mel so that she could have our beautiful daughter, but I’m sure you don’t want to hear about that at the moment, although I may delve into it at a later date, no details I promise!

But to me the most successful moment was getting Ben back. I’d fucked up big time. I’d listened to other people instead of listening to myself and what my heart told me.

I knew how much I had hurt him and wondered if he would ever give me a second chance. After my first attempt at trying to get him back failed - even Buddha didn’t seem to be on my side at that time - I knew I had a fight on my hands but I also knew it was one I was determined to win.

So I’d sort of followed him around and ended up at a basketball court. Have I mentioned how hot Ben looks when he’s all hot and sweaty! Anyway back to that day. I made a complete fool of myself, what I knew about basketball could fit on a postage stamp, and once again thought I’d fucked up but I gave him an ultimatum, either come out on a date with me or they wouldn’t get their ball back. Considering the size of some the guys that made up the team it was a risky moment, the fact that I’d just called one of them Godzilla probably didn’t help either, but Ben said yes.

You can imagine how happy I was when I saw him walk in the door at Woody’s. Looking back now I realize that it should have just been me and him, not the rest of the gang, but I needed to make my point, that I could date who ever I wanted, and that seemed the best way to go about it. It took me a while to realize that Ben felt uncomfortable, as if he was there for no other reason than for me to make that point, not because I wanted to be with him. The guys had various reactions to my statement but I only had eyes for Ben. When he said he had to go I couldn’t believe it and this time I knew without a doubt it would be my last chance to win him back.

So I decided to make a fool of myself once again. I seem to be quite good at doing that!

I watched him walk towards the door and grabbed the microphone and began to sing. Judging by the looks on the gang’s face when I flicked a glance in their direction I didn’t seem to be raging success but Ben stopped and turned back and when I saw a smile cross his face I knew that this time I had won.